Winmore

Let’s be honest – all of us lie. We do so either to avoid hurting another person’s feelings, avoid getting into trouble or to make ourselves look better. At the same time, we want our children to be honest.

Research says that children as early as two and a half years start having the ability to lie and it’s an important part of their social and cognitive development.

Here are some tips to help you inculcate the value of honesty at a very young age:

1. Share positive stories
   We love telling the story of “The boy who cried wolf”, thinking it promotes honesty. But what it actually does is connote a negative emotion to the story (falling prey to the wolf when the boy is truthful).

   Instead, share stories which illustrate positive consequences of honesty. Children should be able to draw inspiration from characters in the books they’re reading.

2. Acknowledge them being honest
   We usually catch kids in lies, but it is equally important to acknowledge them when they tell the truth, especially in situations where it might have been easier for them to lie. Take a moment to show that you appreciate their honesty by saying, “I’m really glad you told me the truth”.

3. Have a conversation, not lecture
   The more open and amiable conversations you have, the more effective your relationship with your children will be. No child, especially a teenager, is eager to listen to your ideas of right and wrong doings. When you approach your child at a crisis calmly, it will yield a positive output. When it comes to raising truthful children, it is best to discuss issues of honesty and lying openly

4. Discipline calmly
   Children who are disciplined harshly and arbitrarily tend to lie more than others. Having a huge emotional reaction can provoke them to get away with a lie. Instead, stay calm and stick to the facts you have observed in order to induce truth out of them. For example, there is no need to ask, “Did you spill this juice?” when you clearly see stained lips and overturned juice bottle on the table. Instead, you may say, “Looks like you’ve spilled some juice over the table, let’s clean it up.”

5. Give them space
   If you don’t want them to lie about things too personal, it’s better not to question them about it. Giving and respecting their space for privacy will encourage them to be honest and even entrust you with additional information.

When you are emotionally warm and open and accepting, there is little need for children to look for lies. Deception ends where there is acceptance.

Too much of honesty may be hurtful as well and we don’t want that. Being honest is not synonymous with being rude. Imbibe honesty as a tool to be kind to one another and not to point at someone’s flaws.

The bottom-line is, speak the truth, but pleasantly.