Children are naturally inquisitive. They begin asking questions from the time they start talking – ‘Why is the sky blue?’, ‘Where do stars go in the morning?’, ‘Why should I go to bed early?’ And when they start painting, elephants will be blue, trees will be orange and flower green. But adults often shoo such “nonsensical” questions and correct their “mistakes” almost instantly. Gradually, children’s individuality goes for a toss and they are reduced to miniature versions of their parents.
Obedience Is Good – Maybe Not Always
Successful parenting is sometimes determined by how obedient the child is. If he does what he is asked to do automatically without asking a ‘why?’, it is considered enviable merit. But obedient children grow up to be obedient adults who accept things as they are. They are less likely to stand up for themselves and are susceptible to abuse and bullying. Obedient children are emotionally and cognitively dependent on others and have inferior problem-solving skills. Feeling the need to fit in, they always take the beaten path and rarely leave a mark. Thus, compliance in children makes them easier to raise but becomes disadvantageous in the long run.
A Mind of Their Own
For thousands of years, people believed that earth is at the centre of the universe, around which the sun and other celestial bodies revolved. It took thousands of years more and a Copernicus to prove otherwise – the universe is ‘heliocentric’. Even Albert Einstein, Alexander Graham Bell and Marie Curie would not have revolutionized the world if they didn’t ask questions.
Parents think that they are helping children by giving them readymade answers and being at their beck and call. Doing so actually hinders their ability to develop their independent thinking skills. When children are encouraged to find their own solutions to their problems and form their own decisions, they grow up to be more accountable to what they become.
- When your child tells you about their experiences or problems, listen to them. Most often, it allows them to deliberate on the issue themselves and come to their own conclusions.
- Give space to your child to decide the shirt they want to wear, the course to study or the career to pursue. Remember that while protecting them from the “evils”, you are not stopping them from living their own life.
- Instil the moral values you want them to grow up with, but trust them to make the ‘right’ choices.
- Appreciate their wins and have their back when they fail. This boosts their self-esteem and the confidence to face the world.
The Right Place to Be In
Developing independent thinking skills is at the forefront of learning at Winmore, one of the best CBSE schools in Bangalore. We see students as active learners who make sense of the world based on their own experiences and knowledge. Our teachers welcome students’ opinions and accept that there could be more than one ‘correct’ answer to a question. Mastering independent thinking makes children not just promising individuals, but also promising leaders of tomorrow.