Winmore

Can you remember the last time you stopped what you were doing to listen to your child? Have you noticed their eyes widening with excitement while recalling an interesting story from school? Now let us turn the tables. Does your child listen to your instructions with complete attention? How important is it to have good listening skills and to comprehend every detail of the shared information? The significance of being a good listener comes down to practical reasons. For carrying out any responsibility, its is important to understand the rules and conditions along with its procedure. One has to be a willing listener to foster relationships and prosper in his social life. Finally, keen listening is the key to personal development as it allows the expansion of horizons by gaining knowledge from others. When children develop their ability to listen to others, they gain different perspectives and make them open to various shades of life.

What is active listening?

Active listening is the act of fully concentrating on what is being said rather than passively hearing it. In other words, it refers to being mindful of words by employing all the senses. The listener gives full attention to the speaker and makes it obvious through sounds and feedback.  Identifying active listening in the listener through verbal and non-verbal signs like maintaining eye contact, nodding while agreeing, slightly leaning in, and resting head on the hand. These indicators of feedback throughout the conversation help put the communicator at ease.
Respectful and good listening is a conscious decision to listen patiently with a neutral stance and without being judgemental or interrupting the speaker. Developing listening skills at a young age makes them better communicators, ensures better comprehension of lessons, and helps in shaping good character.

How to make your child an active listener

It is easy to spot when a child is only passively hearing. They will be distracted, mostly fidgeting with something, and will fail to execute the instructions. If it is a task that they have to do, they will either do it incorrectly or will come back asking for the instructions again and again. If it is evident that your child is not an attentive listener at home, chances are high that they lack the required listening skills at school too.

Here are some ideas for developing active listening in children.

1. Ask them to repeat after you

If you feel that your child has zoned out in the middle of a conversation, stop and ask them to repeat what you have said. Most often, it brings them back to focusing on what is being said and ensures that they are not selectively listening (omitting parts of the information they think they do not need). In this way, they instantly turn into active listeners when they know they are being monitored. Initially, it is okay to slightly force them back to listening until they naturally do it. Do not over-explain instructions and try to keep it short and crisp.

2.  Model good listening

Parents cannot expect their children to actively listen if they themselves fail to do so. When your child is telling you something (even if it is the nth time you are hearing the same story), make sure to pay attention and respond to them. Repeat back what they are saying and maintain eye contact to express that you have understood them.
When your child observes that you are keenly listening to not just them, but everybody with whom you come in contact, they will start imitating you. Modeling good listening will give your child a reference to follow.

3. Have interesting conversations

Children tend to ignore topics that are not interesting to them. Catching and holding their attention through interesting conversations will gradually equip them to listen to what they find “boring”. Tell them about an intriguing project you are on or about their favorite animal that you saw on your way to work. Then proceed to ask them about their day and get them to talk. Purposeful listening will give them a chance to bridge the communication gap and engage in real conversations. Avoid multitasking while having this talk with your child.

4. Involve your children

Children are reluctant to take orders that do not make any sense to them. For example, instead of ordering them to put back their toys in place, tell them how important it is to maintain order and keep surroundings clean and chaos-free. Invent a game in which the toys can travel back to their boxes and explain the instructions in a proper manner. This prompts your child to listen to you carefully as they are involved in something fun.

Try applying this method for almost every regular task you expect them to do, they will enjoy the process and follow the directions diligently. It is also one of the best ways for developing active listening in children.

5. Listen together

In order to establish solid listening skills in children, expose them to uninterrupted audio tapes or podcasts. You can either borrow children’s audio tapes from the library or download audiobooks on your digital devices. Listen to these stories, rhymes, or songs together with your family. If it is a story, pause in between and ask your child to explain the events that happened till then.

6. Indulge in reading activities

Make reading an interactive process by pausing and asking your child to predict what happens next or how the story is going to end. You could also ask them about the best part or to describe their favorite character. Once they are familiar with the story, read it again and make games out of it. If they have not been listening, choose a story of their liking and make the reading more interesting with animated sounds and expressions. You could also ask them to act out the story with their toys as you read so that they pay attention to the details. Here are some great, tried, and tested techniques to help your child be more interested in learning.

7. Play games

Take up every opportunity to engage your child in listening activities. Introduce them to games like Chinese Whispers, Simone Says and Traffic lights that require them to be attentive and listen to instructions. To play Story Chain, make a group of people sit around in a circle and they should tell a story bit by bit, starting from where the previous person left it off. It helps your child to listen, comprehend and respond. You can also take them on listening walks in which you stop and pay attention to the sounds you hear.

8. Direction-oriented activities

Involve your child in cooking. If he or she is very young, start with making a salad. Read out the recipe and let them follow it step by step correctly.  You could also do gardening with your child in the same way. When they want the outcome to be good, they will follow your instructions keenly, thus increasing their active listening skills.

9.  Indulge in role-playing

Theatre demands a thorough knowledge of storyline and dialogues and good listening skills. In addition to comprehending the lines the other person is saying, it is vital to pick up on the non-verbal clues and body language. So when your child is involved in role-playing, they develop these skills required to perform well on stage and eventually in the real world. You could also rely on interactive TV shows and videos available on the internet that involves viewer participation.

10. Be aware of your words

Children learn to talk by listening to their parents. Always have good clarity in your words and pronunciation. If you want your child to listen to you, avoid “listening stoppers” like “You”, “If” and “Why”. These words at the beginning of the instructions often make the children uninterested in what is to follow. Speak slower and lower your voice. Make your requests short and sweet using fewer words. Make sure to use words like “Please” and “Thank you”. Here are a few encouraging words you can use.

Allow them some leeway when needed. If your child is engrossed in something, interrupting them leads to resistance. At the same time, expect compliance in a way that they know you are serious about the tasks you assign them. Do not completely rule out the possibility of having a hearing disorder. If you notice repeated hearing problems, get a hearing check done.

Signs of Active Listening

How do we know that our children are actively listening? It is necessary that the listener conveys his interest to the speaker through verbal or non-verbal messages.

Non-verbal signs

The following list of non-verbal signs is generally considered to be a display of interesting listening:

• Smile – Small smiles show that the message is well received. Combined with slight nods, it affirms that the message is listened to and understood.
• Eye contact – Most speakers make eye contact as encouragement while some shy people might find it intimidating. If your child is making eye contact while you are speaking, you can consider it a positive sign.
• Posture – The listener’s posture communicates whether or not he is paying attention to the speaker. An attentive listener leans slightly forward or sideways when he is engrossed in the talk. Take placing the head on the hand as a favorable sign.
• Mirroring – Sometimes the listener automatically mirrors or responds with facial expressions which convey sympathy or empathy. At the same time, take the attempt to mimic expressions as a sign of inattention.
• Distraction – While it is necessary to avoid all distractions for active listening, inactive listeners will constantly be looking at the watch, doodling, playing with hair, or fidgeting with the phone.

Verbal signs

• Positive reinforcement – Although the speaker should not be interrupted frequently, some strong verbal reinforcements are helpful. For example, sparing use of phrases like “yes”, “indeed”, “right” etc. are positive indicators.
• Remembering – Speakers sometimes try to ensure that the listeners get the message right by asking them to recall key points. If it is a lengthy speech, taking notes can help with the memory.
• Questioning – If the listeners are asking relevant questions to the speaker or engaging in an interaction, it reinforces the idea that children are taking interest in what the speaker is saying.
• Reflection – If the listener is able to repeat or paraphrase, it shows good understanding.
• Clarification – Clarification involves asking questions by the listener to ensure that the correct information is received. It gives a chance for the speaker to elaborate on certain topics as found necessary by the listener.
• Summarisation – When the speaker condenses everything in his own words, it becomes positive feedback for the speaker and allows corrections if necessary.

Active listening in the classroom

The emphasis on developing listening and speaking skills in children is high on the children today. Learning involves spending a large part of time listening to the teachers and understanding. Benefits of active listening in classrooms include improving teacher-student relationships, a better teaching-learning process, and students being seen as active partners of their education.

One of the best CBSE schools in Bangalore, Winmore Academy, has a positive classroom culture where the skill of active listening is developed right from primary school. Our compassionate, enthusiastic and highly qualified set of teachers introduces various strategies to foster listening skills among the students. The patience and confidence levels of the learners reflect their genuine interest and non-judgemental approach

We believe that the ability to listen becomes a doorway for numerous opportunities to grow that one encounters in their lifetime. Winmore helps in developing active listening in children who are capable of finding their own way out of difficult situations and becoming effective role models.