Parenting, undoubtedly, is a difficult job. Being a parent comes with the additional responsibility of choosing the right words. Children tend to take everything literally and the words you utter can have a bigger impact on building their personality. Unfortunately, every offhand remark that comes out of a heated moment causes serious repercussions. The only way we can avoid that from happening is carefully monitoring what we say in front of and around our children. Here are the top five things you should definitely refrain from telling your child –
1. “You are a bad boy/girl”
Every negative thought that you feed your child will kill their self-esteem and confidence. When they do something unacceptable, correct them instead of saying that those actions make them bad. Your positive reinforcement by saying things like “you are the brightest child in the whole world” will only motivate them to be good. Always try and help them to be happy, positive and pleasant.
2. “Why can’t you be like your brother/sister?”
Comparison between siblings has helped no one. It will only create a rivalry between them and make one jealous of the other. They might feel inferior to the other and it negatively affects their attitude. Such remarks can drill into your child’s mind that he or she is not your favourite child. Here are some practical ways to reduce sibling rivalry.
3. “NO!”
A straight “No” without any explanation or reasoning can be too harsh for your child. If children hear “No” way too often, they will lose their trust in you and might even stop talking to you. A better alternative is to consider their opinion, tell them why something shouldn’t be done and then provide other options. For example, instead of saying “No, you can’t go out in the rain and play”, try saying, “Why don’t you and your friends play some interesting games indoors till the rain stops?”. In this way, you can refrain from telling a no to your child.
4. “Let daddy come and I’ll tell him…”
It might work in your favour a couple of times but making it an everyday threat will instill fear in your child. Additionally, it shows that you are not capable of handling their issues single-handedly. There may be things that your child does unintentionally but irresponsibly. In such cases, let them take ownership of their mistake. For instance, you can tell him or her, “Do you want me to tell dad what you did or do you want to explain yourself to him?”
5. “Don’t talk to me”
Whatever issues come up, never cut the channel of communication between you and your children. Do not ask your child to stop talking to you. Give them a chance to make their stance clear and listen to them. This will, in turn, make them listen to your advice. Try convincing them with your words, tone and expression. You can let them know that you are upset but never discourage a conversation that could lead to a win-win situation.
Healthier and Peaceful Approach
Positive parenting ensures healthy relationship between parents and children. Start by cutting negative words from your vocabulary while replacing it with positive and reassuring ones. At the end of the day, the goal of parenting is not to show who’s the boss or to instill fear, it is to help your children to be decent and self-confident human beings.