“I got two toys, but you got only one”, can be the beginning of a long argument followed by a fight. Parents of more than one child will relate to this scenario, who spend more than half of their time separating unhappy children. Sibling rivalry is a type of competition that has been happening since forever and is influenced by factors like birth order, personality traits, parental treatment and so on. Parents who hope for a lovely relationship between their children may suddenly find themselves in the midst of constant bickering and squabbling.
Here are Some Practical Ways to Reduce Sibling Rivalry:
No comparisons
We do know that each of our children is unique in their own way and love them equally. Still unintentionally, we tend to make the grave mistake of comparing one child to another. This eventually becomes the fuel for what we try to avoid in the first place. The only way to avoid this situation is to refuse to typecast or hold one child as the role model. Celebrate their uniqueness and let them know your love for each of them.
Avoid favouritism
Take effective preventive steps required to avoid sudden outbursts of anger and emotions. Never let your children feel that they are getting more or less of your attention than the other. Make sure you do not belittle your child or put them down. Your child deserves your open expression of love and a free channel of communication. Let your children engage in different activities to avoid competition at home. The more you spend quality time with your child one-on-one daily, the less likely it is for the sibling rivalry to manifest.
Know when not to intervene
Sometimes small fights do good than bad. It gives them the time to realise what the other means to them and then resolve the issue. In such cases, it is best if you avoid playing the referee in the game. Encourage them to share their feelings but do not take sides. Sibling rivalry in moderation is an indicator that your children have strong opinions of their own and are finding a way to express them.
Empower them
Teach your children to channel their emotions and energy positively. If they are equipped with the skill to resolve conflicts amicably, the rivalry can be reduced to a great extend. They should learn the importance of loving their family and having a good friendship with their sibling. This kind of attitude has the power to establish peace at home.
Appreciate maturity
We are sometimes taken by surprise when our child shows compassion or concern towards his or her sibling. We always tend to expect the elder child to make compromises, but teach the younger ones to solve the problems as well.
Do not hesitate to shower praise whenever your children show the kindness, understanding and empathy that are expected of them.