When you hear a parent saying, “I didn’t know she could do that” or “I wonder when he started having this interest”, chances are they haven’t understood their child enough. Does this mean that they do not have a friendship? Is it possible for parents to be friends with their children? Is it really necessary?
The answer is Yes and Yes.
It is even more crucial in today’s times for your child to have enough reasons to consider you as their friend. Only then, they will open up and reveal their most guarded secrets. It is a natural step after they realise that you have their best interests in your mind.
Here are some practical steps to becoming your child’s best friend –
- Lifetime commitment
Friendships are made with unconditional commitments that lasts “forever”. Tell them that you will be there for them no matter what. Being friends with your children encompasses more than being their confidante. Listen without judgements and respect their choices.
- Encourage
We like to be around people who uplift us. Be that friend to your child who highlights their positives and helps them work on their negative traits. Motivation will help in having an optimistic attitude and communicating their fears and doubts with you.
- Be available
If you are a working parent, you may need to schedule time to spend with your child. It is also important to make yourself available when they need you the most. If they are interrupting when you are on call, let them know, but never fail to get back.
- Become a student
Study them. What are their likes and dislikes? Are they patient, strong-willed, fun-loving, sensitive and motivated? What are their immediate and long-term goals? Often, children cannot be “pigeon-holed”. They are constantly evolving and we need to be regularly updated.
- Don’t be overprotective
You can be concerned about them, but you cannot protect them from making mistakes. Let them fail and learn from their falls. Advising and suggesting are one thing, but it is not okay to enforce your opinions on them.
- Teach your child meaningfully
Touching is another magical way of building friendships. When you touch your child tenderly, softly and with warmth, chemicals are released in their brain that contributes to good health. Conversely, their growth is stunned if they do not receive affectionate physical touches.
- Be genuine
Honesty is the key. If you believe that parents cannot be friends with their children, then you cannot practice these steps. Stay true to who you are and be the best at it. At the same time, when your kid asks for your advice, be honest and speak your mind. Remember, only you can be you.
- Set the limits
Being friendly with your children does not mean that they take advantage of it. Moral values should be taught through stories and actions and you need to ensure that they are disciplined enough to follow them.
Not many children can proudly say that their parent is their best friend. But once they do, you have gained a lifelong friend.