Living in a complicated social world, all of us wish to be accepted and approved by others. Raising a socially intelligent child in today’s times is not easy. Things are even more difficult for our children who are introduced to the media before they are emotionally ready. They might not instinctively know the ways to cultivate emotionally and socially intelligent kids.
‘Social Intelligence’ is the ability to know oneself and others. While intelligence (IQ) is largely what we are born with, social intelligence is mostly learnt. Verbal fluency, conversational skills, knowledge of social rules and effective listening skills are some of the basic elements of social intelligence.
Here are some basics on raising a socially intelligent child –
Start from toddlerhood
Have a person-to-person relationship with your child as soon as she is born. Speak respectfully and in a language that you want them to speak. They will treat others the way you treat them, which is why you need to give her criticism in private, not in front of others. Remember that you are constantly under the microscope. Engage in open, polite and honest conversations. Practice patience, forgiveness, empathy and sharing – these are the social traits you want your child to have.
Support their friendships
Your child’s friendships need to be honoured and reinforced along with yours. Ask about their welfare and create opportunities for them to spend time together. When they come to you about strains in friendships, instead of taking sides, help them solve the issue. Extend your support whenever necessary and take a step back when required.
Teach them that people are important
Praise your child when he treats others with consideration. Let him know that you appreciate the presence of important people in your life and make effort in maintaining healthy relationships. Help him brainstorm to solve peer group problems. Insist that they acknowledge elders and other children in their presence. Most often, older children and adolescents need coaching on how to handle awkward situations and interact appropriately.
Help them repair rifts in relationships
Repairing relationships is beyond just apologizing. Give them the chance to cool down first and then reflect on what went wrong. Apologizing is a vital friendship skill that is often overlooked. When your child is caught in a conflict, do not force them to apologize in public as it will only lead them resisting it. Make sure that you apologise graciously when you are wrong and be a good role model.
Respect the differences
People are different in their tastes, beliefs and interests within the family. Teach your children to appreciate the differences and respect them, even if they might not agree with it. Seek out people with cultural differences so that your child grows to understand them.
Shield against social evils
Our interactions and relationships have the power to shape our thinking. While healthy relationships nourish and support our mental-physical health, toxic relationships can poison us emotionally. Having supporting friendships is critical for positive youth development.
Social intelligence is all about being sensitive about other people’s feelings. At Winmore Academy, one of the top CBSE schools of Bangalore, we impart social skills like listening, empathy and understanding through our core curriculum. A child who thinks clearly and rationally navigates better in the real world.