Raising an only child is challenging and rewarding. Till a few years ago, every family in the country consisted of at least three or four children. Children without siblings were thought of to be self-centred, spoiled and lonely. But the tides have turned and such stereotypes are now broken down. Nowadays due to the rising cost of education and the realisation that more care and attention can be given to a single child, more parents prefer to have small families.
If you are a parent of an only child, here are some tips to ensure that you are raising a polite and respectful person –
1. “Opportunity to spend time with their peers”
As a way of escape from loneliness, only children often develop imaginary friends or talk to inanimate objects. No matter how much time you spend with them, they need to interact with children of their age. Arrange opportunities to form new friendships and involve them in activities that will require working with their peers. The exposure to various social circles can improve their inter-personal skills and team-work attitude.
2. “Daily activities on their own”
While raising an only child, parents tend to pamper them endlessly and do everyday chores for them. This makes them inefficient to handle bigger responsibilities and builds up a laid-back attitude. Avoid spoon-feeding and insist on taking accountability for their actions. Assign regular chores like doing their own laundry or cleaning their room which can help them become more self-reliant.
3. “Children are not mini-adults”
When children hang around with parents all the time, they may start to be treated as mini-adults. Giving them the same treatment as adults will affect their innocence and terminate their childhood. While it is acceptable to treat them as individuals with their own thought processes, have age-appropriate expectations so that you do not stress them out. Allow them the liberty to make mistakes and learn from them by letting them know that they are the children of the house.
4.”Know the difference between pushing too less and pushing too hard”
It is widely considered to be beneficial for the child to have his or her parents’ undivided attention. But in reality, it often ends up with them nosing around all the time. When you constantly pressurize single children to do well, they end up looking for people’s validation throughout their life. The other scenario is when they are completely devoid of any care or attention. Both of these cases are dangerous and parents need to learn when to step in and when to step back.
5. “Teach them to handle stress”
Parents’ support is invaluable for children in doing anything. Only children who are used to being in the middle of praises may find it hard to accept criticism and disappointments. Ensure that your child is equipped to handle stress in any given circumstance. Make it clear that they may not always get what they want and disappointments should not affect their morale.
Forget perfection
Parents often consider their single child to be their “masterpiece” who needs to be best at everything. This is a pressure on not just the parents, but on the child also. Try to spend quality time with your child. Recognise their interests and ignite their passion but never force your expectations upon them. A child with good self-esteem will have a better bond with his or her parents and will become unique and successful adult.